MORE THAN JUST A DRESS SIZE: LOVING ALL OF YOURSELF
If you are a curvy girl who is bigger than the average sized person, odds are that you have been discriminated upon in the past, looked down at, sometimes lashed out at, and sometimes mocked because of your size. And despite the fact that the average human size worldwide is an American size 14, which is by no means a size zero, a plus sized woman is still criticized and not catered for by most fashion brands. The increasingly widening gap between the typical body of a female model seen in fashion magazines and the body of the average woman seen on the street is upsetting. This has not ceased to amaze me. If one of every two women in the world is plus sized, why are they being marginalized?
But this is not an epistle to criticize the critics of the plus sized woman. Rather, this is a reminder that you are more than just a dress size. This is a call for you to love yourself, all of you. You are wonderfully and uniquely made and there is no one in this world quite like you.
Here is how to love the body you live in
To continue to love the body that you live in, you will do well to remember these important lessons:
Your character outshines what you look like: What matters in the end is your personality and the depth of your character, and not what size you are. This is an all-important lesson you cannot afford to lose sight of.
Your body size doesn’t determine your career: Asides your family and friends, a woman’s career is the biggest thing in her life. And you should be glad to know that the size of the clothes you wear has absolutely no bearing on what you do for work. Yes, even if you aspire to be a fashion model, opportunities now abound for plus sized models in the fashion industry as fashion brands are now keen to display their diversity and acceptance of all body types. So, if you are fulfilled pursuing the career that you love, it matters not what size you are.
Do what you love: There is a simple standard for living that I love and that I want you to adopt going forward. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and ask yourself that if you were to die that day, would you die doing what you love? If your answer is no, then change what you do. Do what you love. Pursue your passion. Live your dreams. And this is as much an advice for the plus sized woman as is it for the skinny girl.
Being curvy doesn’t mean you are not healthy: You need to realize that healthy doesn’t mean skinny exclusively, and that a healthy lifestyle is all that is needed to feel good in the body that you have. Being plus size doesn’t mean that you are overweight or that you need to diet or embark on weight loss or any such thing like that. You don’t have to be skinny to be healthy. In fact, there are a lot of skinny people with chronic health challenges just as there are plus sized persons living with health problems. If you maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise and getting enough sleep, well done you.
It is very easy to surrender to disordered eating: Please understand that it is not only thin people that have eating disorders. There are an almost equal number of plus sized women out there dealing with disordered eating as well, and this is usually caused by trying to fit in. Because of the critical world that we live in, the average woman wants to be able to say that she is a size 2 and falls prey to all sorts of unhealthy diets, and quick and quack weight loss programs in order to lose weight. Most go a step further by developing an eating disorder. Don’t fall prey to this. While it is good to want to lose weight (if that’s what you really want), it is important to remember to do so healthily and not through disordered eating.
You do harm to your psyche when you engage in negative thinking: When you engage in negative thinking whether about your dress size or about other happenings in your life, you harm your psyche. You start to live a less worthwhile life, have a lower confidence level and a lower self-esteem. You also find that you don’t derive as much joy and enjoyment from people around you and the activities that you used to love. What more, negative thinking physically depletes you and robs you of energy.
Never conformity to any one’s standards: Don’t allow other people’s standards to become yours. As long as the body that you live in is healthy and serves you well, it doesn’t really matter what they think.
You are worthy of recognition just as you are: If a man or your fellow women will not recognize you and acknowledge you in the body that you are, that is their loss and not yours. The world, and you as well, needs to understand that there is no one standard for beauty and that it comes in different forms, shapes and sizes. If someone doesn’t want to get to know the real you because your version of beauty is different from theirs, they don’t need to be in your life.
When you think plus, think positive: You need to stop seeing and thinking of being plus sized as negative. Don’t ever forget that a plus is an addition. it means more. It means that you exceeded the goal. It means extra, a cherry on top while others are just the normal. Plus means an advantage; it means being in addition to what is expected; it means having a certain quality to an unusual degree. Plus is an advantage, and you need to start to think of it as an advantage.